Is it really almost September???

Wow. I have been slacking on this blog. A LOT has changed since June 30th…

I have a job. Yayyyy! Thank God for his blessing there. It only took me 3 weeks to find it. I’m working at a preschool and I really like it. It’s definitely different then the rigid school setting I’m used to but I think that’s a good thing. I’m not sure if I’ll go back into teaching officially with the school district here simply because I don’t know how long I’ll be here but it has crossed my mind.

I’m moving on September 17th into the lower level of a condo of two of my friends here and I am soooo excited! The house is so comfortable and the people are SO incredible! Plus, it’s two rooms which is much more space than I have now and I can decorate. Yay!! God has been really good to me as always

Prayer requests: I’ve been having some car problems and I really need the transportation; I need to go to the dentist and considering I haven’t been in 2 years, I’m really nervous about how much work will need to be done.

Goodbyes are never easy…

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.” John Greenleaf Whittier

If you are wondering what my plans are for my future, I am going to start this blog off by disappointing you. I Have No Clue.

Last Thursday, I graduated from the School of Worship here in Denver. And that day began one of the hardest weeks ever…Over the last 3 months, the people above have been my family. I didn’t think it was possible to connect to people that hard that quickly. I think it has something to do with the vulnerability that is necessary to be creative. I guess it’s not super important why but I am so grateful for all of these people. So over this last week, I have had to say goodbye to people I love and people I miss already.

The thing that God was most clear on was that I am supposed to stay in Denver. So I found a place to live and I am currently job hunting. But he has confirmed so many times that I am supposed to be here. He has given me fun community and I am glad that I haven’t had to say goodbye to everyone. He actually confirmed something through my new roommate that was cool.

About 4 weeks ago, we had a speaker named China Kent. She prayed for me and got a picture of me as a new plant shoot that needed to be cared for tenderly and wisely. It was a nice picture but just yesterday, I was thinking that I didn’t know 100% what God was trying to say in that picture. Then, this morning when I was talking to my roommate, Sarah, I was talking about how God asked me to stay but I don’t know why. She shared with me that her pastor gives messages on the value of planting ourselves somewhere and letting our roots grow deep in the community. Then I understood the picture that China gave me. It was encouraging

Despite how my logical brain wants to worry about stuff, I am excited for what God has for me. I guess the whole point of adventure is not knowing what’s next….

“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” Susan Sontag

I’m leaving on a jet plane…

Don’t know when I’ll be back again…

So I arrived back in California from Belize last Wednesday and my flight to Denver, CO is early tomorrow morning. It’s strange to be transitioning again. Lately, I feel like change comes in waves, about every 3 months as we receive new students in Belize. But this time, I am the one changing my location and my every day routine.

For those of you that don’t know, tomorrow the School of Worship begins at the YWAM base in Denver, CO. I am soooo excited to see what God is planning to do there. I’m not really sure what it will look like but that makes it a little more exciting, I think…

Please be keeping me and this school in your prayers

John Murphy and Relationships

So this past week, we had the wonderful opportunity to have John Murphy from YWAM Denver come and speak about relationships. His topic and teaching have been so impactful for me, starting on my DTS but also since. If I had to sum up his teachings in one or two sentences, this would be it.

God wants to build His church through relationships.

God wants us to do life with Him, not just for Him.

One of the main things he talks about is servanthood vs. sonship. He says the main difference between them is ownership. There are many verses in the Bible that talk about us as God’s sons and daughters. A couple of examples are Ephesians 1:4-5 and Romans 8:15. We need to step into our roles as His children and live like it. Here are some of the differences he points out:

Son

*has authority; heir to something

*everything Jesus has, he gives to us

*builds the house (If you’re the builder, you’re gonna care about all the details)

*does whatever it takes to get the job done

*family oriented: understands the Father’s heart

and is interested in the Father’s work (John 4:34)

Servant

*no authority; just working to work

*doesn’t build the house; simply lives in it

*never initiates

*issue oriented; bails when tough

This list just always convicts me. Am I living like a daughter or a servant? It’s a good question to ask myself each day…Hope this blesses you!

I Don’t Know

There are a few phrases in English that I think make us uncomfortable or fear what is next. “Are you sitting down?” “Don’t take this the wrong way but…” “We really need to talk.” None of these phrases really lead us to be excited about what is going to follow. Instead, we usually are apprehensive or nervous. But I think there is one phrase that scares the speaker as much as the hearer:

I. Don’t. Know.

From the speaker’s perspective, this phrase is terrifying. It means that we are in the dark about something. It means uncertainty. It means lack or loss of control. It means we’re not as independent as we had hoped. We feel stupid. For the listener, it means something very similar. If someone is asking a question, they clearly don’t know the answer themselves. So now, not only do they not know but the other person doesn’t either. The uncertainty just escalated. The feeling of the loss of control just became stronger. No one likes saying this phrase. No one likes hearing it. No one likes this phrase.

Except God. God loves it when we say “I don’t know” because it acknowledges our need for him. It humbles us. It teaches us that while we don’t have it all figured out, there is someone who does and he’s on our side. For the last year and a half, God has been teaching me what it means to say “I don’t know”.

“Anya, what are you going to be doing in Belize?” “I don’t know, but God does.”

“Anya, how long are you going to be with Destination Paradise?” “I don’t know, but God does.”

“Anya, where is the money going to come from for this School of Worship in April?” “I don’t know, but God does.”

I don’t know. A lot. And while it can be scary to admit that, at the same time, it’s freeing. I don’t have to know because I am intimate with the One who does. I feel lighter. I love this verse in Proverbs,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Let that verse bring you comfort and freedom. There are things you don’t know? Great. Go talk to the One who does.

January 14th, 2011

Okay so I know that’s a lame title but I couldn’t think of anything creative…

Our January school started on Tuesday and it’s so great to see that God is calling so many young people to missions. I always say that your mission field can be wherever you are but it’s inspiring to see so many 18 and 19 year olds wanting to be better equipped for whatever ministry God wants to use them for in the future. So often, when it comes to God, I figure that if He wants me to do something, He’ll just make me good at it but slowly I am figuring out it doesn’t work that way. He guides us in a direction but it takes initiative on our part for improvement in certain areas so we can be effective to that which He has called us. DTS is a part of that and I am so blessed to be a part of this group of students’ DTS’.

Personally, things are pretty much the same. I am still working with the DTS students and doing homeschool for the children of the directors of our base. Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed but God is equipping me in this season and teaching me so much through it. The school of worship in Denver is coming up in April and I am almost finished with the application. I am soooo excited for that next season even though I am also a little nervous. Learning how to lead worship…? Does that mean I have to sing in front of groups of people…? I know God will use it to grow me IMMENSELY and I am really excited about that.

I was blessed to go home for Christmas and see family and friends. It was really refreshing to be able to connect up with people that I haven’t seen in a while. And, of course, being home this year to celebrate Christmas was incredible. I have been so blessed with wonderful family and friends!

Bonne annee!!

There is something about New Years that I just love. Yes, often times the parties are a tad disappointing and the countdown, ant-climactic. But I still love it. I think it’s the idea of a fresh start. Everyone gets one. I know that resolutions are usually made and then 3 days later, broken, but still, there is an opportunity. There is an opportunity to make a change. As scary it is, change is important. There is a saying that goes like this — If you do what you’ve always done, expect to get what you’ve always gotten. I know there are areas in my life where I don’t want to get what I’ve always gotten so change is necessary. Of course, that change can come at any time in the year but my linear mind likes New Years as a platform for that change. A fresh start. I like it.

Traveling is ALWAYS an adventure

Even when all you want to do is get somewhere. I left the base in San Pedro yesterday morning at 6:30. After a 2 hour boat ride, Mexican customs, a 6 hour bus ride and a 10 minute walk, I ended up safely at my hostel in Cancun. Man, hostels are an interesting thing aren’t they! Everyone was so friendly and just talking to get to hear everyone’s story of how they got there and what they were doing. While it was a bit exhausting after that long day of travel, it was a bit refreshing. Usually when I fly, I sit quietly in the airport and then I sit quietly on the plane. I’m not much for small talk so I don’t usually talk to my neighbor unless they talk to me first.

Right now I’m sitting at a table downstairs, eating papaya, yogurt and granola, and talking to a girl from D.C. Hostels are a really interesting concept and someone pointed out something last night. They haven’t really become popular in the U.S. I mean, they’re all over Europe and Central and South America, but the ones we have are only in the huge cities and are usually still pretty pricey. I mean, we definitely have some but it’s not the thing to do when you travel in the States. I think there should be more personally. It makes life interesting.

Yesterday was such an adventure. I didn’t know my bus stopped anywhere else than Cancun and I got off at the wrong place. Barely made it back on before it left. I could have ended up in Playa…Then I got lost going to my hostel because I can’t read a map and then I got bumped up to the penthouse with one other person because they were so full. We didn’t eat dinner until 9:30(and I hadn’t eaten since 6:30 am) and a bunch of the people here were going to a foam party and I was invited. I was exhausted and went to bed because being fully clothed and sprayed with soap doesn’t exactly scream fun to me. But it was a fun group to eat dinner with.

My flight is today at 12 and I’ll be back in California for the Christmas season! Yay!!

The Hard Part of This Job…

I hate goodbyes. There, I said it. I always want them to be quick. I hate long, drawn out ones. I just want to rip the bandaid off.

I LOVE the girls in my small group. I mean, I love all the students but I have had the privilege to be a part of my girls’ journey with God in this season and I absolutely adore each and every one of them. Last night, we had Christmas because we won’t be together for the holidays. They’ll be off either touching lives in Honduras or in the Philippines and I’ll be in California. So we all got together last night and exchanged gifts and ate food and watched a movie and even got a visit from Santa and one of his reindeer

God has taught me so much in this season and He has loved on me so much through these girls. I HATE that I have to say goodbye but I am so excited for what God has for them next. This is the part of the job that is hard. You grow so attached to the people here but 3 months later, poof. They’re gone!

Pray that the teams will do well in Honduras and the Philippines and that they will not grow weary.

Pray for their team unity.

Pray that I can remain a strong part of their lives!

When I grow up, I wanna be just like Timmy

So this week the students have Brenda Lewis as their speaker and I am loving it! I had Brenda on my school and she hasn’t been back since so it’s been about a year since I have heard her. This week is about destiny and what God is calling you specifically to do. One of my favorite parts this week are her Timmy stories. She has a younger brother who is developmentally disabled and I want to be just like him. He is so sweet and loving and profound. He lives his life for others. He doesn’t think about how helping someone else might affect him negatively. He loves fully.

Brenda told us this story today about how whenever she visits Timmy, he gets up early. When he hears her get up, he goes downstairs and makes coffee. By the time, she gets downstairs, there is a cup of coffee on the table with her cream and sugar exactly the way she likes it but no Timmy. It’s like a game to him. How much can he show love to his sister? It’s a simple example but so beautiful. How often do I think of others in this way? Yeah, if I can help someone out and it doesn’t inconvenience me, great. But we all have our limits of how much is too much. Timmy doesn’t seem to have those limits. There’s no such thing as loving someone too much. He is happy to spend his life on others.

Why do I find that so hard? Why is it always about me? I want to learn to love like Timmy.